Self Development

Hideki Matsui Has Proven It

2009-11-06T18:50:00.004+09:00

I was very surprised and excited yesterday when I heard that Hideki Matsui won the MVP award of Major League Baseball World Series Game 6. Last year, I read a book written by him himself in Japanese with the title 不動心 as a wrote in my blog here, and I was really inspired by his life philosophy. I even wonder why the book hasn't been translated into English. Today, he has proved his philosophy he wrote in the book by becoming the first Japanese MVP in the World Series.

Although I can say I am his fan, I am not exactly what you can call a baseball fan. Sure, I enjoy watching baseball sometimes, like WBC, but I don't collect baseball cards, I don't check TV schedules in order to watch baseball games, and I only watch one or two of his games. I know he is one of the greatest baseball players of all time, but I am his fan because of his philosophy as a human being.

In his book, I can imagine what he felt when he had fractured his left wrist, and I also know that he had a little problem with his knees last year. Further, his contract with New York Yankees will end this year and has not been extended as of this writing. As a man in a foreign country myself, I can completely understand how it feels when you face uncertainty about your future in a foreign land, and yet he has managed to overcome this pressure and came out as a winner ! I believe one of the reasons is that he succeeded in separating what he could do, and what he could not do, and focus all of his attentions and strength on what he could do, as written in his book

Congratulations, Godzilla !!! I believe this year is the brightest year in your career and I am sure that you ain't gonna lose your future in Major League unless you are the one who wants to return to Japan ! Banzai !!!

Desperate situations reveal what you really are ?

2009-06-22T09:43:00.000+09:00

When I was still a child, I was often taught at school that people will reveal who they really are if they are put in desperate situations. This issue suddenly popped up into my mind when I was reading a Japanese book with the title "アタマにくる一言へのとっさの対応術", which literally means "a quick method to respond to offensive statements". This book was originally written in German by Barbara Berckhan, and translated into Japanese.

It occurred to me that, if someone mocks or makes fun of you, and you become angry because of that, can we really say that what you do/say in that emotional condition is what you really want to do/say if you are not in that state of mind ? Or in other words, do your doings in an emotional state of mind describe what you really are ?

I do think that, in some cases where people hide their true feelings, then maybe putting people in desperate situations will let them disclose their previously hidden opinions or behaviors. However, I don't think that the above statement is always true for all cases. In such emotional situations, let alone a situation where we had not experienced before, our judgments will mostly be clouded by fear and anxiety, and most of us won't be able to decide what is the best for us to do in such situations.

This is one extreme example, but imagine for a moment that there is a bullet flying to pierce your loved one. Naturally, you are in panic, although you want to protect him/her, it will be too late by the time you come to your senses. Does this mean that you are someone who runs in front of danger, leaving your loved one behind ?

Yes, it is true that you could not protect them before, but does it describe your character ? Can it be said that you will always do the same thing again in the future ? Above all, had we originally wanted to sacrifice ourselves and be the victim, I am wondering how many of us could actually got out of the confusion and actually did that in such short amount of time ?

Personally, I think we are more of what we really are in a calm state of mind, and less of it in desperate situations. Perhaps that's one of the other reasons why we don't like falling into a panic state. After all, can we really say things about you looking from one side of a coin ?

This is not to say, however, that we should let ourselves stumbled easily. I do think that it is best for us to be ourselves, to do/say what we really want to do without being affected by other people's behavior. And that's why I think we should not let our minds to be bothered (at least not so much) by offensive statements from other people, hence the reason I was reading the book above.

The Most Important Thing in Life: A Review

2008-10-24T18:19:00.000+09:00

I am currently reading this book called "Bargaining Across Borders". I have to say that this book has opened my eyes widely. The book describes how to be a better negotiator abroad from American perspective, but being an Indonesian, I can also feel the benefits of reading this book. Of course, I don't think that I've become a better negotiator since I am not a "negotiator", unless when I am negotiating with my wife and friends, but the book has taught me how culture can be different among countries, with examples of theories that I had had heard before. One of these benefits is that it made me aware that most of the books that I have discussed in this blog until now have "Western culture", mainly US, implicitly written in them, perhaps because they are written by Americans.

The discussion can be long, but in this post, I am going to share a little of the benefit by addressing my last post, about the most important thing in life. When I look at it now, I kind of realize that it has a little bit of the Western culture there: you plan something (in detail), and then you do what you plan.

This is not necessarily to say that planning is bad, and in fact I feel more comfortable when I have planned before doing something. It's just that people don't have to do that to be happy or to feel alive, especially in cultures where planning is not fostered too much. People with this kind of thinking tend to look at their surroundings and prioritize being together with their friends or loved ones, instead of planning. One of their arguments is this: "How far can you go, even if you have this great plan ? We should just make the most of the time that we have now". Some people will also refer that "God controls everything and there is a limit to what one can do" as well.

In fact, following our surroundings has its positive aspects too. We don't have to "fight" the current too hard, and we can just go with the flow. The drawback of course is that since we "depend" on something else, which existence is not eternal, you will face harder times when you lose those things. Personally, I think that we stand between of two extremes, the first one is full of planning, while the other one is full of looking at surroundings (or following the current). I am sure that most of you have already heard this before.

So, what relationship does this have to "The most important thing in life" ? In my last post, I have discussed that if you don't know your goal, how can you know which direction you should take. I just realized now that, although this behavior suits me well, you don't really have to do this to find the most important thing for you. It largely depends on you and your culture, but perhaps the most important thing for you is just out there: families, loved ones. Or you can also be satisfied even by just going with the flow with your loved ones. In fact, I think one of my loved ones has this trait more than planning or setting goals. I don't think I can describe this well in a picture, but it will probably be something like this, with the dots as people, the lines as "current", and without anything that denote goals. Looks messy, doesn't it ?

Even with this observation though, the monk's answer in my last post: "The most important thing in life is to find the most important thing in your life" still applies. It's up to us whether we want to decide a goal and try hard in pursuing it. If we just want to go with the flow, be together with our friends or families, then it is also alright. We must admit that this latter one, strangely (or obviously) can reduce stress, although the lines surely don't resemble that in the picture above. So you may want to think about it for a while, especially if you think you are carrying a lot of burden :)
I guess I myself prefer a balanced position between the two extremes, but I am sure that many of you have also progressed that way until now.

Quote of the Post:
As for a picture, if it isn't worth a thousand words, the hell with it - Ad Reinhardt

The Most Important Thing in Life

2008-09-21T12:34:00.000+09:00

This post is a response to my friend's post about "what is the most important thing in life". I would have commented on her post directly if the post hadn't been long but I think it's better to make a new post.

Her post is in Indonesian, so I'll translate it a little bit. The post said that during a question and answer session in a ceremony that she was participating, one participant asked a Buddhist monk, whose rank is Master, about "what is the most important thing in life ?" and the monk said "The most important thing in life is to find the most important thing in your life".

It sounds confusing and roundabout, doesn't it ? And if I am asked the same question, I think I will answer "Happiness", but then there will be another question "how can we obtain this happiness ?". My answer may sound even vaguer, but I think "being vague" must be in and out the answer itself. One of the reason is that, people are different, just as mathematics formulas look simple for special cases and become more difficult as you go deep to look for the general equations.

(Image Updated on Nov. 17th, 2008)

Imagine that you are represented by one of the upper dots in the picture and the lower boxes represent your possible goals in the future and you can only choose one of them. If you don't know which one will be your goal, how can you even know which direction you have to take (what you have to do) ? Another thing is, my goal is likely to be very different from your goal, and even if the goals are the same, for example "happy life", our initial positions in the picture are different, so your concrete direction of "just go south" (in real life, it may be "work as a manager and get a lot of money"), won't take me to the same position as it will do to you.

Of course, you can argue that if we can find a person who has the same background as our backgrounds, his/her most important thing in life is also the same as ours, and he/she has obtained it, then by following his/her steps, we can also obtain it. In the picture above, you are arguing that both your positions and your goals are the same. I say, although theoretically it is possible, the first step is nevertheless finding your own goal. How to achieve that goal, however, must be different since one person can't have the exact position as another person. You may have different goal, different character, different hobby, different family, different educational background, and you may also live in different time. That picture isn't just two dimensional there, but it has infinite dimensions.

After we know what is the most important thing in life for us, then and only then, should we find out how we can obtain that thing, which is happiness in my case, but could be wealth or fame for some of you. This is particularly important since as people grow, sometimes their goal also change. Thus, at times, we need to look inside ourselves, and find what the most important thing for us is or confirm whether it is still the same. It is quite surprising that, such an important task is easily forgotten because of the business of the world we live in.

Quote of the Post:
Joy is not in things; it is in us - Richard Wagner

Challenging Our Preconceptions

2008-07-27T08:55:00.000+09:00

I accidentally had a nice chat with one of my friends the other day about the problem that I was having. I am currently working on a technical project, and I thought I would need a lot of computation time to produce things (images) that I need. I talked to my friend about the idea and you know what ? He challenged the notion by saying that the process should not take that much time.

Although he did not pinpoint which part of my program that I could improve, and he actually has not seen any of the code, and I am not really sure if he understands Java 3D, the programming language that I am using, at all, it made me think, it made me realize that there was actually something that I could improve. It turned out that I've been able to optimize my program so that it is roughly 10 times faster than the old one ! So if I had to spend 10 days in producing the images, now I only need one day !

Had I not talked to him, I would still have taken my preconceptions, that the process takes much time and I can only wait, for granted. I think this is also the reason why, in establishing a business, two people have more chance of success than one person. Sometimes we just don't realize that some of the preconceptions that we hold true, are perhaps incorrect, and although we actually know how to fix them all this time if we know what are incorrect (the "what"), the idea that there is something incorrect just could not have occurred to us, had we not talked about it to someone else. I think it is similar to the case when you are trying to explain your idea to someone, and somewhere along the way, you realize that something is a bit out of the track, without actually getting any input from the person that you are talking to.

And just like what is written in one of the books that I read (I could not remember which one), I think it is close to impossible to pinpoint the "what" by ourselves, since there are so many preconceptions that we take as granted and challenging each one by ourselves will spend too much time and wear ourselves out. So if we have an idea, a problem, or something that we are interested in doing, the easiest and cheapest but effective way to challenge our preconceptions or to find out improvable things, is just by talking about it to someone else. But beware of not sharing too much details of parts which you consider as your trade secrets.

Quote of the post:
I was born not knowing and have had only a little time to change that here and there. -
Richard Feynman

Lesson from a Manga about Refugees (なんみん)

2008-07-21T11:44:00.000+09:00

I accidentally obtained this Manga about refugees (nanmin or なんみん in Japanese) from an International event in Kawasaki, Japan. I have always been amazed by how Japan can turn complex issues and advanced school lessons into mangas so that it's easier to be understood even by young children.

The first lesson from the manga that I got was this. Living in a busy city such as Tokyo, most people have a tendency to complain about themselves. They say that they are looking for a better job, better income, etc. It's like the old adage: "somebody's lawn is always greener". I believe that striving for a better life is good, and something that we all should do unless you want to be free from all worldly desires (i.e to reach Buddhahood), but sometimes we forgot that being able to strive for a better life without depending on others so much itself is already a gift, and we should be grateful for that.

Refugees, before they settle in another country, aren't blessed with such opportunities. They are restrained by the government, whatever the reason is, and even if they decide to get out, it means that they are betting their lives since there are so many risks: getting caught, meeting robbers, and there are no certainties where they are going to end up. It may be that, like an Indonesian adage, they are getting out of crocodiles' nest only to enter lions' mouth. But even with such risks, maybe trying to get out is a better option than living the rest of their lives in such a pitiful way.

The second lesson that I got was about communication: "Express yourself so that people can understand you" (taken from the image below). Suppose that some refugees are very lucky and they managed to settle in another country. They still have the problem of learning that country's language and adapting themselves to the country's culture even though the country may not be the first country in their minds that they want to go. Since they just started living in another country and have the opportunity to get a better life by doing that, I believe most of them will be willing to do so.

What a contrast with foreign students alike that I see here, and perhaps even myself. We were given leisures to choose among any country that we'd like to visit, we have much much more time than those refugees to learn the culture and language, and we are generally blessed with better environments, but look at what most of us are doing ? Some completely refuse the idea of learning Japanese, even though they are studying in Japan, some don't want to bother themselves into learning the culture and thus forming their own small society of "International" friends which will "vapor" once the other people go back to their countries, and yet, many of them are complaining about language barriers and misunderstandings that they faced when they had been forced to talk to Japanese people, such as in renting an apartment.

I am not saying that we should become Japanese in all respects. But how can we eliminate misunderstanding if we don't express ourselves to be understood by local people ? And if we don't learn the language and the culture of the country where we are living in, how can we express ourselves ? I believe that it's best that we maintain our own identities as foreigners, while at the same time respecting and trying to understand how things work from the other perspective without necessarily doing them ourselves or agreeing on all things. Isn't that what tolerance is all about ?

Quote of the Post:
Different fields have different grasshoppers, different people have different attitudes (From Indonesian proverb: Lain padang, lain belalang; lain lubuk, lain ikannya).

The Spiritual Storm Has Passed

2008-07-18T18:33:00.000+09:00

I think the number of posts that I am posting to this blog keeps decreasing every month, and I am really truly sorry about that. That's not to say that I am going to close this blog, no, not at all. In fact, if possible, I want to maintain this blog more then I want with my personal blog :). It's just, instead of self-development books these days, I've been starting to read business books.

One of the reasons about this blog that I like is that, I am able share things that I've learned in my life with all the people around the world, and I am also able to train my mind to express myself more clearly and more effectively, not to mention the "English learning" part. I started writing this blog around one year ago, when I was desperate about my life and everything seemed gray.

At that time, I have chosen that path of a Ph.D in Japan without really knowing what I was going to research after graduating from master. I couldn't use the results of my master thesis because at that time I've found out that my previous research had been fundamentally wrong. Looking at my friends working out there in companies starting to make money, I realized that I had only a few friends who had been sharing the same experience, and most of them were foreigners, so they were as clueless as I was. Fortunately though, I didn't have the common language barrier in Japan at that time because I have been able to speak/listen/read daily-level stuffs and I was starting to enter company-level Japanese. Trust me, they are totally different.

But as time passed and as I kept reading self-development books, I think I have gained my strength again to do my research. I even got my own big project now and I love it more than what I used to do in my master degree. But really, what made me change ? Looking back at that time, I am not really sure what the answer is. Sure, some of my friends were kind enough to offer me "free" consultation and I have a wife who is always supporting me, and there were books that I kept reading, but perhaps if I can sum it up in one sentence, it was the idea that it doesn't really matter even if I don't graduate. I actually had a discussion about it with one of my colleagues, but it seemed that he didn't like the idea.

Now, thinking from a broader perspective, I think there must have been something wrong with my head. It seemed like there was a heavy pressure to graduate as a Ph.D in three years (the term of my current scholarship) or else my life was going to be black, black, and black. Looking back at it now, the idea was so strange since unconsciously, it greatly reduced the interest in my subject. I chose the Ph.D path because I like Computer Graphics and I knew that I'd need some more time before truly entering the Japanese society (work). So doing things that I like should have made me passionate, and not uncouraged like before. Sure, we have stress sometimes, but even then, if you truly like what you are doing, I don't think you'll have any heavy stress with it. The question actually came to "What'll happen if I can't graduate in three years ?".

You know, it's not the end of the world (which is the way I truly felt) even if we can't graduate in three years. Most of Ph.D students out there graduate in 4-5 years, so even if the term of the scholarship is only 3 years, what does it have to do with doing something you like ? Sure, maybe I'll get a financial problem, but it is just one possibility although I can't say for now how low or big the probability is. I can do computer programming, and I am sure most of you out there can do something to earn money, so I may continue the Ph.D while working full time, or I may quit Ph.D , or if lucky enough, I may also be able to get another scholarship. But the thing is, why did I worry so much about only one among many other possibilities ?

I think it is much more important to focus on what we can do to make ourselves better in the future, to continuously recreate ourselves according to what we want to become, and to pursue things that we are interested in, rather than worrying about one possible outcome in the future. I wish to thank my wife and all my friends who have given their support to me. Indeed, I think my spiritual storm has passed and even if another one comes, I am looking forward to myself being more mature.

Quote of the Post:
Pursue your dreams.

Dull Mind

2008-06-22T18:08:00.000+09:00

Last week, I found a book with the title "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne in a used book store. I have heard about the book from my friends who read them, and I checked the book in Amazon.com. Unfortunately though, the reviews aren't very good, but I decided to buy the book anyway.

Reading the book for 30 pages or so, I realized that I had to think hard to figure out which parts that I don't agree, and which parts that I believe are correct. It seems that those parts are smoothly intertwined in the book causing me to think hard to be able to separate them, and then I suddenly realized that maybe I was right to buy this book.

Although I can't recommend anyone to buy it, at least not at the moment, I think that it's been a while since I was forced to think this hard while reading a non-technical book. The whole process of reading books which got good reviews, and which content are "right" according to me has made me say "yes" to other people's opinions too often in my mind, making my mind a little bit dull in arguing my own opinion.

It's good to limit your "world" in reading only well-reviewed books, but perhaps it's even better to try reading other not-so-well reviewed books too. Indeed, just like what they say, there are two sides to every coin.

Quote of the post:
There are two sides to every coin

The First Derivative in Your Life

2008-06-13T17:40:00.000+09:00

I was puzzled and stressed the other day, because I felt that I was in a position where I don't know what I should do to push what I believe is right. It reminded me once again that people are stressed when they don't know what to do, or when they feel they are going down. If you model the flow in your life as a line chart as shown below, putting time in X axis and the quality of your life in Y axis, I believe people are stressed when they feel that they are going down there, or mathematically speaking, the first derivative is minus, and it's not caused by their positions in the chart. People can be quite happy if they know they are going to get a better life even if they don't live quite so well today.

Notice my use of the word "feel" above. Sometimes it helps to relieve your stress by thinking positive and actively changing how you feel about things, which is in fact subjective. But there are just moments when looked from almost all perspectives, your life is going down. Fortunately for me, my problem was just about my own feeling and I could get over it by changing my attitude towards the problem. It should have been pretty obvious from the start, but the problem was actually miscommunication, and once I am determined to bring what I thought was best out, the sinking feeling suddenly goes away.

If you feel that changing your life from going down into going up by only changing how we feel about things is not likely for you or your current problem, then I'd like you to realize, that your path can only go up after going down, and there are times when we have to go down first before going up again. William Bridges explains well about this matter in his book called The Way of Transition: Embracing Life's Most Difficult Moments. Perhaps we need time for ourselves, but I'd like you to always seek the way to go up without looking at your current position on the chart, to turn the first derivative of your life into a plus.

Most of the times, the solution lies in the way that you have never expected, things that you thought was complete impossible. It helps us to review our thought process by realizing that things that we thought were certain are not so certain, by thinking out of the box. But one caveat that I'd like to emphasize is that, be careful of quick fixes since they usually don't address the fundamental issue and won't work in a long term.

Quote of the Post:
You can only go up after going down.

Getting Someone to Throw the Ball (Part 3)

2008-05-25T08:07:00.000+09:00

(continues from the previous post)

One caveat is that thinking has to come first before executing, just like what they say, measure twice and cut once. Everyone can work as hard as they can without having any plan and without doing any thinking before. Indeed, we can also regard "waiting" to be "working hard". Without thinking, the work that we do can be as far as useless, although sometimes we can still go forward. But the probability is high that, based on our knowledge at the moment, there is another more efficient and effective approach that may come to our mind if we think, than if we don't.

In fact, I believe that "start to look at reality" itself is also one part of this process. We review what we have done and obtained so far and see if we should and still want to do the same thing after this. But the question is really, "did we try our best ?". If we do have tried our best, we can proudly give up on it and leave it behind us because we know that we have done all we could. Even if we are looking forward and doing what they call "reality", I believe the same "perseverance above thinking" is the key to reach the best that you can reach, whether it means success or not, and the same result is likely to befall us if we don't try our best.

If I am asked, what is one of several things, that I had tried my best, but almost gave up until finally that wish came true, is my longing desire to study abroad, and now I got a chance to study Computer Graphics until Ph.D course in Japan, one of the countries where most games are being produced, and the country which language I barely known at that time, and now I am reading a Japanese book here ! So are you trying your best ? I don't think there is a word "late" for trying your best. Whether you are catching your dream or looking at 'reality', I hope that if it doesn't work out by any chance, I hope that all of us can say that we don't have any regret because we've tried all my best and we will still try our best from now on.

Quote of the Post:
A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top

Randy Pausch: Last Lecture

2008-05-24T12:12:00.000+09:00

This is a video that I incidentally found today while I was doing something else, but I am really glad now I found and watched it. If you haven't, I'd recommend you to spend 11 minutes to watch the video. I am sure that those 11 minutes will be very beneficial for us to develop ourselves.

Quote of the Post:
Unexpected things just happen when you least expected it.

Layout Change

2008-05-23T19:12:00.000+09:00

I guess you have noticed, but we changed the layout of this blog in order to present our articles better by using unused spaces. We also added a link to the books in Amazon.com for English books and Amazon.co.jp for Japanese books so that you can directly find the books that we discuss in this blog. If you have any further suggestions about the layout of our blog, please don't hesitate to let us now.

Getting Someone to Throw the Ball (Part 2)

2008-05-19T08:44:00.000+09:00

(continued from previous post)

I've seen a lot of friends, people quit their dreams, quit what they had been doing until then, and start "looking at reality" because no ball came to them, or perhaps there had been several balls but they just didn't notice it. Although I agree that perhaps it's a better choice if they still can't obtain what they wanted although they have tried and done all they could, in most cases, I doubt that we did all we could to notice a ball coming or to get someone to throw a ball at us. In other words, most of them just waited for the ball to come without even trying to get one.

Being someone who are still studying in a graduate school, and haven't graduated from undergraduate school that long, I believe that most people in my generation are still used to be given tasks and tests like what we had done during our studies, without realizing that in real life, being able to find the task itself is a problem to be solved. And just waiting for a task to be given without looking for it is just like waiting someone to throw a ball at us without having a pitcher in the first place, and no wonder that soon or later we will eventually stop waiting and start looking at "reality".

So how do get someone to throw the ball ? I believe that the answer differs in every situation and it depends on our perseverance built up above thinking. That means, we think first, starting perhaps as far as from reviewing what our goals in life are, until what we are currently lacking at this moment, to work out a plan to realize those goals. And then, we execute the plan continuously. In most of the cases, since we are also learning, the plan that we have made is probably not the best one, but it was the best one that we could have thought of, and therefore, after some time has passed, we should review the plan itself based on the results so far. I believe that the perseverance of executing the plan itself, to continuously review and improve our plans, and to balance when we should keep executing or when we should start doing review, are the keys not only to get someone to throw the ball, but also to hit the ball as far as we can.

(continued in the next post)

Quote of the Post:
Measure twice, cut once.

Getting Someone to Throw the Ball (Part 1)

2008-05-12T21:27:00.000+09:00

Continuing my previous post about 不動心 by Hideki Matsui, in one of his chapters in the book, he mentioned that it is important for us to prepare ourselves, so that when an easy ball comes, we can make it so that the probability for us to hit the ball far away is as high as possible. And one way to do that, is by training, preparing your body and mind, and try reading your opponent's style before he throws the goal. He also stated that just like there is a probability of an easy ball, there is also a probability of a hard ball, and if that happens, if you can't hit it no matter how hard you try, then we'd better put it behind us and look for the chances at the next pitch. There's no need to feel depressed, because we've done our best.

I like the way he talks about facing current situation and leaving the past behind by correlating it with baseball, and I agree with him. But, if in baseball you have a difficulty in hitting the ball, in life, you have an additional difficulty in "getting someone to throw the ball".

(Continued in the next post)

Quote of the Post:
It's never just a game when you're winning - George Carlin

Accident For A Lesson

2008-04-30T16:20:00.000+09:00

I am currently reading a book with the title 不動心 by Hideki Matsui, a famous Japanese baseball player. If you live in USA or Japan, I am sure that many of you have heard of his name.

Among the books about self development that I've read so far, this is the book that is the most moving for me, although I haven't finished it yet since I am having a little bit difficulty in reading Kanji or Japanese letters. First, I bought the book primarily with the intention of studying Japanese, but it actually taught me a lot of things, although I wasn't a fans of him, and I don't even like baseball pretty much.

In 2006 May 11, he accidentally ~~broke his arm~~ fractured his left wrist in one of his games. Although he was in pain and he feared that he was going to lose his career as a professional baseball player at that time, which should be understandable, he had a very strong and motivating wish. He wished that in the future, he can say to himself, "Say, it was good that you ~~broke your arm~~ fractured your left wrist at that time, wasn't it ?".

By that, he didn't mean anything ironic or sarcastic, but he would like to turn the accident into a lesson that he could learn and thus overcome so that he can be a better player in the future. And now, here he is at the pro stage in USA still playing baseball.

I think in many occasions in our life, there are some accidents that just come uninvited and ruin our life. We can ask, how it happened, who did this to me, but sometimes asking questions just don't return things to the way they were before. Things change, and we had better keep up with it. It's best that we look at the things as they are now and start going on to look for new chances by making those previous accidents as our lessons. Of course, we need time to face harsh reality but somehow we need to understand that we can choose to sit and wallow in our miserable life, but it's better to look forward and make our life better.

Quote of the Post:
I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision - Eleanor Roosevelt

Similarity From Different Perspectives

2008-04-23T14:24:00.000+09:00

Several days ago, I was working on a project located in a folder named keijiban together with some Japanese people. I knew that the word keijiban (掲示板) means a bulletin board or BBS in Japanese, but somehow, it made me uneasy, and I found out that the words keijiban is similar to two other words that I know. The first is 宇宙刑事ギャバン - uchuu keiji gaban (wiki), which is perhaps the first metal heroes series from Japan that I watched during my childhood, and the second one is the word "keajaiban" in Indonesian that means miracle.

Bringing the topic out to my teammates, I was surprised to see that they wouldn't be able to see the similarity between those topics had I not brought that up, although several of them actually knew about the series. From what I understand, I think I am thinking in terms of alphabet "keijiban" and "keijigaban", and they are thinking in terms of kanji or katakana "掲示板" and "刑事ギャバン". So are they actually similar ? It depends from which perspective you look at them.

This experience reinforces my belief that sometimes, or maybe in any time, people look at things differently, because of reasons that can go as simple as the difference in childhood, education, or work backgrounds, and we certainly can't force them to think our way and vice versa. On the other hand, having many perspectives to look at the same problem actually benefits us because it allows us to carefully analyze the problem from different perspectives and attack it from the most promising view.

I am sure that we often encounter people who always think differently (and strange according to our point of view) in our life. In this situation, I believe that it'd be best for us to ask him to explain why he thinks that way, and then interpret our own thought on the idea. I am sure if we do that correctly, you'll laugh just like my friends and me laughed at the similarity (or dissimilarity ??) of keijiban and keijigaban.

Note:
This was also mentioned by Stephen Covey in his book: Seven Habits. This is the link to my blog about the sixth habit: Synergize.

Quote of the Post:
Not to be absolutely certain is, I think, one of the essential things in rationality - Bertrand Russell

Time To Be Around

2008-04-11T21:28:00.000+09:00

I am reading a book called "Motivating People" by Robert Heller. I bought it around two weeks ago with the intention of understanding and improving my and my team's motivation better. Yesterday, I found out that it can also be used to improve social relationship as well.

One problem that I suddenly realized yesterday, is that it seems I am receiving only little respect from my juniors, both as a friend and as their senior. My social relationship wasn't like this when I first entered my university. It's true that not being in the same boat (I am a Ph.D, they are still masters) may be one root of the problem (at least in Japan), but another reason that I found out yesterday by reading the book is that, I just haven't spent enough time to hang around with them. I only meet them once a week, and even that is wasted by a mere greeting without any social talk or chit-chat.

It's pretty obvious when you think about it, isn't it ?
It seems that I am losing some balance in this area because I was focusing too much on my work, which demands focus actually. But I guess, if I can't stay around and have a chat with them even for one or two hours each week, then maybe my time management itself is the problem.

These are some questions for myself that I got from the book. I hope these questions would also be useful to you, as it has been very useful to me.

What precisely went wrong, when, where ?
What were the root causes of the failure ?
When were the deviations first signalled ?
Why were the warning signals not acted upon ?
What could have prevented the failures from occurring ?

Quote of the Post:
If you want to gain respect, have time to be around

Is It Neccesary to Become an Adult ?

2008-03-31T13:47:00.000+09:00

If we know we are going to die in the next few days, is it still necessary for us to become an adult ?

This is the opening line of an anime that I saw at the Anime Fair in Japan yesterday. The line, which seems to mean that it's alright to do anything however selfish or egoistic it is since we are going to die soon anyway, caught my attention because perhaps in my heart, there is a desire to release myself from the chain of society that is somehow preventing me to do what I want to do, although I am not really sure if it is the case. However, is it necessary to become an adult even though you know that you are going to die soon ?

After thinking a bit, the best answer is probably, it depends. It depends on how you want to spend the rest of life to live the utmost as what you are as long as it doesn't violate the law and your own self. And I think it doesn't make a big change whether you know that you are going to die soon or many years later. If you decide to be a kid, because that's the way you feel you can live the utmost as a human, then it's alright. On the other hand, if you decide to be bound by the rules of society, because that's something that you truly want, e.g to be accepted by society, then there is also no problem there. Of course, there are still a lot more options, but the key is, isn't living our utmost is the one that makes us happy ? Perhaps these cliché words can better express the answer to the above question.

Just be yourself

Quote of the Post:
やれる所までやってください - 松井秀喜 (Continue doing it as long as you can)

Letting The Outcomes Be What They Will

2008-03-19T15:23:00.000+09:00

This is another thing that I just learned from this book
The Way of Transition: Embracing Life's Most Difficult Moments
by William Bridges. One year ago, my mind was in chaos because I felt very uncertain that I could finish my goal within the given amount of time. After reading some books, I learned to "give it up, while at the same time to try my best". This is surely not the best line, but it was the best that my mind could produce at the time, until I read these words from The Way of Transition:

...try your best and let the outcomes be what they will...

I was struck when I read that line, and I also realized that although perhaps I had the same idea in my mind, I am still having difficulty in letting the outcomes be what they be, which in turn has made me anxious, off-balance, and actually decreased my productivity.

I don't mean that I am trying to eliminate the uncertainty (which is almost always there, actually), but I am trying to change my own view about the uncertainty that I am in right now. I want to try my best while enjoying the process itself, and at the same time letting the outcomes be what they will. I believe that this will make me productive the most, no matter if I do really reach my goal or not. And who knows ? Maybe there are some things out there that I realize to be more important that my current goal during the process. How about you ?

Quote of the Post:
A fine quotation is a diamond on the finger of a man of wit, and a pebble in the hand of a fool. - Joseph Roux

Nonbiiiri (Relax)

2008-03-13T12:04:00.000+09:00

I happened to listen to a Japanese radio station a few days ago, and they were talking about nonbiri, which means relax, for example if you get impatient because you are standing in line, or waiting for your order to come, just relax. I smiled when I listened to how they pronounce nonbiiirrrriiii, because the way they said it reflected the atmosphere of relaxation.

I think being a little bit impatient is alright, since it alerts us if something doesn't work as it's supposed to be, but being impatient too much is troublesome since it doesn't help you anywhere and tends to hinder your understanding of the core of the problem.

So, if you are feeling that way right now, why don't you just relax and enjoy things that you are doing ? Nonbiiiiiirrriiiii !

Quote of the Post:
人生は何事もなさぬにはあまりにも長いが、何事かをなすにはあまりにも短い - 中島敦
(Life is long if you are not doing anything, but short if you are doing something - Nakajima Atsushi)

Second Habit - Its Limit ?

2008-02-27T16:30:00.000+09:00

Recently, I came to realize that perhaps the second habit in Stephen Covey's book: 'Begin with the end in mind', which I made an article about last year in this blog has its own limits. Or maybe it's just that I misinterpreted what he wanted to say. I began thinking about this after I felt that although I keep putting "the end" in my mind, I am still attracted to do my hobby, that has little or nothing to do with that "end". This hobby could be anything for us, for example pottery, drawing, sports, card collection, etc, our hobbies that would not or doesn't have to be mentioned in our funeral years from now. I came to believe that it is normal because we are humans that can have something that we want to do although we don't care what the results would be. It simply shows who and what we are.

Of course, having a clear goal in mind is very useful, and it helps us to recognize which things that we are doing that will contribute to that goal, and which ones that won't. But can we cay "Begone, unfruitful ones !" ?. Doing that, I believe, will make us a robot, simply because we follow exactly what the design part (the first creation according to Stephen Covey) in our brain has told us. Isn't that the human (variable) part that makes the process to reach the goal enjoyful, I wonder ? I think that it is completely okay to do these "unnecessary" things with our eyes still aiming for the goal. Caution must be exerted, however, so that it is not excessive.

Further, having the goal in our mind, doesn't mean that it's the best for us. Yes, we think that it is the best for us at this moment, but when we look back to our past, we can realize that what we thought was best at that time, simply isn't at this moment. Having our eyes completely focuses on the goal frame hinders us from looking at the big picture, and from opportunities that may come because we refuse them with the reason of "Sorry, I already had a goal in my mind."

Yet, checking every possible opportunity costs too much time, and what can we do in practice about this ? Taking the lessons from "Embracing Uncertainty", that I read a while back, instead of asking yourself "what would you like them to think in your funeral", it's better to ask a question like "what would you like them to think about you in 3 or 5 years from now". After 3 or 5 years have passed, then you can review if you still want them to think the way you wanted them to think 3 or 5 years ago ? And also how you are progressing. In computer terms, it's like you are reviewing your current product version 1.0, and you are thinking whether to build version 1.1 (trying further to reach the same goal), or build a new version 2.0 (has a related, but not quite the same goal). The time span depends on what you are doing, but I believe that we would benefit most by trying to reach our goal in this way.

Quote of the Post:
There are many ways to Rome

Transition

2008-02-10T11:32:00.000+09:00

I am reading a book called The Way of Transition: Embracing Life's Most Difficult Moments by William Bridges, and I think that I am precisely in the transition right now, partly because I just submitted my paper to a particular conference, and I am trying to look for inspirations whether I should improve my current approach or try to achieve the same goal with another approach, or in technical words, shall I make version 1.1 or 2.0 ?

There are many things that I want to quote from that book, but for this post, I want to share one of his ideas that the things the mostly determine a person's life are not the life stages that he/she went through, but rather what he/she obtained between those life stages, or in other words the transition zones, the zones that most people think are the most uncomfortable.

I am not sure if I can really explain why I agree to the idea, but if I listen to someone's story about their life, I am interested to know why they had chosen things that finally make their life what it is today. I believe finding the reasons or insights that made them decide certain things, is much more meaningful for us, both to have a discussion and to incorporate certain things that we are suddenly zapped by into our own life, than just discussing about the life stages. Of course, understanding those reasons is more difficult because we have to understand the thinking pattern of the person him/herself.

And even if we do want to achieve the life stages that a person went through, I think it's not ourselves if we can't understand the insights that he/she had, and it's virtually impossible because even if we do all the things that he did, the world condition right now is simply different than what it was.

This is my photo when I went to Mount Takao in Japan last week, being in vacation after working to submit my paper. It was such a good view of nature and I felt that I was reinvigorated, making me realize once again how important vacation is after working so hard, and of course, not to mention my family. Although I am now in transition zone. I am excited to look for new ideas or insight that will bring me to my next life stage, and I am looking forward to a better me, waiting to be surprised by the exact results.

Happy New Year 2008 !

2008-01-01T11:42:00.000+09:00

Happy New Year 2008 and hope all the best for you ! Looking back at 2007, I think there were many things that happened to me in 2007 and have shaped a lot of differences in my life, including the start of this self development blog. I am sure they will keep shaping my life positively in the future and I wish to say "Peace and Love for all of you in 2008 !"

Quote of the Post:
"Don't fix things that are not broken, or is it better if...."

Uncertainty Education

2007-12-29T18:58:00.000+09:00

I am reading a book called "Embracing Uncertainty" by Phillip G. Clampitt and Robert J. Dekoch. One point that I'd like to bring up now, is that the book mentioned about the research about two student groups being taught in two different ways.

The first student group is taught by using "certainty" method. By "certainty", it means that they are taught fixed steps/ways for doing things, by words such as "these are", "this is", etc, which encourages rote learning. The second group, however, is taught by using "uncertainty method", in which they are encouraged to think by themselves by using words such as "this could be", etc.

They claimed that both two student groups performed well on similar problems that have been already taught before, but the second group performed much better when they were faced with totally different problems. Since I am a Ph.D student and have seen some of my educationally brilliant friends kind of messed up when they went out to work out in the society. Of course, success in academy doesn't mean success in business, I think everyone understands that, but I am wondering if this "uncertainty" can be one of the reasons ?

I admit that I have always wanted to be taught the best ways to do things, and I didn't want to know why this method worked, that method worked unless I had to. I thought that doing things in best ways taught by the experts would yield the most effective and efficient things, for example, in case of programming, just use library subroutines created by well-known developers, and puff, it'll work just like that.

However, I am beginning to think that maybe it's better to always doubt that "the best" is actually the best, and start trying to understand the underlying thought that produced those "best" ways. Certainly, I don't think we have enough time in our life to scrutinize over all the "best" ways. We need to take a balance between taking the "best ways" for granted, and suspecting them.

In Japan, where I am currently living, there have been news about declining reading and mathematics abilities of Japanese students, and the education ministers, university professors,etc are trying out to figure out a way to solve this problem. If I am correct, they are using rote learning method in Japan. I can't help but wonder if this has anything to do with the aforementioned "uncertainty" education ? And I am interested to know if the research about two student groups is indeed correct, why Japan, which utilizes rote learning, can be one of the leading countries in the world ? This is indeed an interesting topic to contemplate about.

Quote of the Post:
Where facts are few, experts are many. - Donald R. Gannon

Seventh Habit: Renewal

2007-12-12T12:30:00.000+09:00

The seventh habit in the book talks about renewing four dimensions of our nature - physical, spiritual, mental, and social/emotional. The reason that these activities are important, especially if you enjoy them very much, is that consciously or unconsciously, it will improve your activities in other areas, including your primary activity.

The Physical Dimension
The physical dimension involves caring effectively for our physical body - eating the right kinds of foods, getting sufficient rest and relaxation, and exercising on a regular basis.

The author said that we should exercise at least 30 minutes every day and about 3 to 6 hours a week, which is relatively nothing compared to 168 hours of the week. Well, that might be the most ideal way, but for me, I think exercising 2 or 3 times a week for about 30 minutes each should be enough (2 hours of basketball 2 times a week is also okay !).

I can understand why most of us feel that we don't have time to exercise, and although I myself have read the book and tried, I find it hard to keep jogging even once a week, let alone twice or more. If I have time (how many times do we say this ? ). I would love to do it around 2-3 times a week, but I kind of feel like it takes too much time, perhaps because not only it consists of the main "running" time itself, but also the preparation before and rest after.

However, I think there is a balance. I think that there is a point where the benefit that you get from exercising, such as better concentration, fit body, etc, will exceed the "loss" of time caused by exercising, although it might not happen very soon after we start exercising, but gradually. And if we enjoy doing the activity itself, it's great, isn't it ?

The Spiritual Dimension

This spiritual dimension actually relates to the second habit:"Begin with the end in mind". Sometimes we get lost in our own busy world without really knowing about what we are doing. To friends who are kind enough to give us advise, we simply say "Can't you see? I am busy here".

One of my friends once told me that since we were studying engineering/science, it made little sense to discuss about spiritual issues. I personally don't think that's the case. I am not talking about ghosts, deities, or anything, but I am talking about discussing things like life goals, motivation, and self improvement, which might be known better as philosophy. During my stay in Japan, I have met a lot of people who seem that they don't know their purpose in life. Perhaps that's why there are a lot of suicide cases in Japan.

I think talking to our inner selves and finding our own life goals is important. It is like going up a tree to look for the correct direction in a jungle, instead of just whacking trees around looking for an exit. And sometimes, communicating spiritually with our inner selves, such as asking ourselves what we expect in our own funeral, makes what we are doing and regard as important right now look futile, if it's actually not something that we really want.

The Mental Dimension

The renewal in mental dimension is about continually honing and expanding our mind, or education. Although I can't really explain why this is important, I can feel it. Perhaps it has something to do with my persistence in learning Japanese that really helped me a lot today, even though I didn't have to do it because I was in an "English comfort zone" in Japan. And perhaps, I have felt something different since I start reading self-development books. Reading these books has made my eyes opened to things which I was oblivious.

Another friend of mine asked me why I start writing this blog ? Well sure, there are some Google Adsense at a few places, as she pointed out, but that wasn't the primary purpose. I wanted to share what I've learned by reading these books to people outside there, and to invite discussions about these issues. I might only understand it from my perspective, but they might have theirs, and I am interested in listening to their views. It's better if we can grow together, and although there might have been only a handful of visitors and comments, if my blog can make the life of these visitors better, that's also completely fine. As also mentioned in the book, the other benefit for me in writing this blog (he didn't mention English training), is the training of expressing my own views and making their structures so that they are easy to be understood. So either way, it's win-win for everyone.

Another paragraph that I like from the book is this:

As you become involved in continuing education, you increase your knowledge base and you increase your options. Your economic security does not lie in your job, it lies in your own power to produce - to think, to learn to create, to adapt. That's true financial independence. It's not having wealth, its having the power to produce wealth.

The Social/Emotional Dimension

This dimension is about how we communicate with people around us, and relates to the habit 4 (Think win-win),5 (Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood), 6 (Synergy). One thing that I found interesting, is that the author tried to relate the training of patience to the training of muscles.

In training muscles, you keep lifting the weight until you feel like you are about to collapse, and will probably do it several more times with a little rest in between. I don't understand too much about bodybuilding but it is said that in about 48 hours after training, the ruptured muscle fibers will be replaced by new stronger ones. In other words, if we can hold our emotions long enough, then "our cells" to hold these emotions will also be replaced by better ones.

I have to admit that I am not really sure if that is 100% correct, but looking back at my old self several years ago, I think my temper is a lot better now. However, I don't think I gained it because I endured harsh emotional aggravating environments, but more like I tend to try to understand other people's views more than before. I might still understand their idea and still disagree with it, which is very normal and human, but it made me deal a lot better with my emotions.

Renewal is important for people, and even for organizations. In an organization, the four dimensions become:

Physical : economic terms.
Mental : recognition, development and use of talent
Social/emotional : human relations, how people are treated.
Spiritual : finding meaning through purpose or contribution and through organization integrity.

However, I think there are some people who misinterpret renewal as something that "MUST" be done as "FAST" as possible, just like a race. The author called it "a quick fix", and is something that can't continue for long. I think the renewal process should be gradual, and something that you can enjoy because these activities are aligned to your inner values. And in my case, I think my "ability" to enjoy reading these books have been growing gradually since I started it.

Quote of the Post:
I shall never be ashamed of citing a bad author if the line is good. Seneca (5 BC - 65 AD)